::: Woman :::

I am sweet and soft-spoken
polite to a fault
always opening doors
I am delicate and purposeful
bitter and sad
angry at all that is lost
and grateful for all I have gained
I'm am innocently wise
forgotten and alone
loving and cherished
non-committal as I run every show
I am passionately cold
shyly courageous
taking pain
because I'm afraid to give it
I know how to be cruel to be kind
and sometimes
kindness is the greatest cruelty
I only give what I can take
unless I forget
but you know how it goes
I'm flawed and precarious
sometimes preciously small
and perfect in every which way
I'm soft and fragile
as I crush you beneath my feet
I've broken hearts
yours and mine
I'm a tower, I'm a queen
I'm a woman
and I won't fall down for anyone
except me

::: Sanity :::

I want
to watch you as you sleep
the shift of your throat as you breathe
the rise of your chest
could I ever explain their beauty
and still be considered sane?

I want
to spend my whole day near you
the sound of your voice in the morning
the random things you say
could I ever live without these
and still be considered sane?

I want
to cut my wrists and call it pudding
the sticky sweet redness swelling
the distracting pain tracing my arms
could I ever tell you this
and still be considered sane?

I want
to cry my stupid heart out
the one you broke so carelessly
the same I gave away
could I continue loving you
and still be considered sane?

::: Ladder :::

I hate that you don't get me
won't you get me?
I just want to be
misunderstood
like winter going backwards through a storm
windows broken open for the dawn
but now I'm gone
out like a ladder
crawling upwards
to the stars
these battle scars making
roads along my arms
a simple sigh

::: Murderers :::

ripped my heart out
piece by piece
'til I was left with none
and that hole aches
bleeding for murderers
who no longer come to play

how do you sleep
when you've left your knife
embedded in my chest
do you miss it?
the way that I miss you
that lying smile that made it alright