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Entry tags:
A Place of No Return - songfic
Title: A Place of No Return
Author: nutmeg kawano
Contact: miphileg@ hotmail.com
Pairing: Laiqalassë/Del
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the Elfies (or anything else having to do with LotR). They belong to the Tolkien estate, etc. Please buy me the Elfies for my birthday.
Warnings: makes more sense if you do the MESPT thing, and have been following the Lai/Del story line
Summary: The night before Lai broke Del's heart the first time, way back when Marilla was a baby.
Dedication: for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
asphodel_bb & laiqalasse well... actually for Noreen, but shhh!
Note: Inspired and written around the song Something in the Air by David Bowie
As much as Laiqalassë hated to admit it, Améniel was right.
His cousin had been pressuring him to let Asphodel go, to send her away. He wasn’t sure if he could do that to the Hobbit.
Although he didn’t love Asphodel, not in the way she deserved, Laiqalassë was still reluctant to hurt the woman who had been his lover for over a year. Especially now, when they had had a daughter together.
Marilla was so tiny, so precious. Laiqalassë didn’t want his daughter to be forced to grow up without knowing her mother.
As Asphodel approached, he looked up from where he was sitting beneath a tree. As she kissed his cheek in greeting Laiqalassë felt his heart twitch guiltily. He could not keep up this charade, he had to tell Asphodel the truth. But as she helped him up and led him to their shared bedding, Laiqalassë could not say a word. How could he hurt her? She loved him, it was obvious, and she deserved to be loved back. Laiqalassë couldn’t do that for her, but she seemed to want to be with him so much, why not live a lie for her?
Because he could not do that. It would end up making them both unhappy.
They lay down among the many blankets and Asphodel curled up against Laiqalassë’s side. Laiqalassë wrapped his arms around her protectively. What was he going to do? He couldn’t keep this up, but she seemed so content.
Nearby, the campfire crackled and the wind blew through the trees, but Laiqalassë was silent as he contemplated the emptiness within his own heart.
As Asphodel slept peacefully in the circle of his arms Laiqalassë watched her breathe and wished he had never gotten involved with her, never had to hurt her. His thoughts deepened with the night around them, always revolving around the one in his arms.
What would it do to her? What about Marilla? What about himself? How would Laiqalassë react to the sudden change he was about to force on all their lives.
Laiqalassë knew Asphodel would accept it and never question his true motives. She’d think it was because Améniel had talked him into it. She’d simply walk away, dignity intact.
She would never need to know he had used her.
He was filled with shame. He had used the Hobbit as a source of comfort to ease the lonliness of his millenia, but he had never loved her. And he never would.
Laiqalassë sighed. He knew Asphodel would probably take Marilla with her when she left. He would miss his daughter. She was a beautiful little girl and he hated the idea of not being there for her, but would not take her away from her mother. Not if he had anything to say about it.
Laiqalassë was so emersed in his thoughts, that he had not noticed that he had started crying.
Or that Asphodel had woken up.
“Laiqalassë, what’s wrong?” The soft voice broke through Laiqalassë’s reverie and he looked at Asphodel as if she were some strange creature.
“It’s nothing, go back to sleep.” Laiqalassë reassured her, wishing the words were true, “I’m going for a walk, but I’ll be right back.”
He extricated himself from the bedding and headed into the surrounding darkness. Asphodel watched as he went. It was obvious the Elf had come to some sort of decision, and she was pretty sure she wouldn’t like it.
Laiqalassë quickly found a large tree and climbed up to a large branch. He sat on the branch and wrapped his arms around his waist in an effort to comfort himself. It was a necessity. He had to do this, for both their sakes. He had to be strong, be wise, be an Elf.
He had to let Asphodel go.
Perhaps he had never loved her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t desire her, didn’t enjoy her company. This was going to hurt him more than he was willing to admit.
More tears escaped down his cheeks and he barried his face in his hands. He didn’t want to deal with this pain. He had enough already.
Instead, he pushed down the hurt and covered it with anger. Anger he directed at Asphodel. This whole mess was her fault. If she hadn’t become so attached to him, he would never have been able to hurt her and the whole situation would have been avoided.
He stayed in the tree all night, feeding his anger. When Asphodel finally found him in the morning, he looked down and saw a creature he couldn’t stand to keep near him. A creature that had forced his hand so that he had to hurt it.
He nimbly jumped down from the tree and stood next to the Hobbit. The love and concern in her eyes as she looked up to meet his fed his anger to an intollerable level.
“Asphodel, we need to talk.”
Author: nutmeg kawano
Contact: miphileg@ hotmail.com
Pairing: Laiqalassë/Del
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the Elfies (or anything else having to do with LotR). They belong to the Tolkien estate, etc. Please buy me the Elfies for my birthday.
Warnings: makes more sense if you do the MESPT thing, and have been following the Lai/Del story line
Summary: The night before Lai broke Del's heart the first time, way back when Marilla was a baby.
Dedication: for
asphodel_bb & laiqalasse well... actually for Noreen, but shhh!Note: Inspired and written around the song Something in the Air by David Bowie
As much as Laiqalassë hated to admit it, Améniel was right.
His cousin had been pressuring him to let Asphodel go, to send her away. He wasn’t sure if he could do that to the Hobbit.
Although he didn’t love Asphodel, not in the way she deserved, Laiqalassë was still reluctant to hurt the woman who had been his lover for over a year. Especially now, when they had had a daughter together.
Your coat and hat are gone
I've really can't look at your little empty shelf
A ragged teddy bear
It feels like we never had a chance
Don't look me in the eye
Marilla was so tiny, so precious. Laiqalassë didn’t want his daughter to be forced to grow up without knowing her mother.
As Asphodel approached, he looked up from where he was sitting beneath a tree. As she kissed his cheek in greeting Laiqalassë felt his heart twitch guiltily. He could not keep up this charade, he had to tell Asphodel the truth. But as she helped him up and led him to their shared bedding, Laiqalassë could not say a word. How could he hurt her? She loved him, it was obvious, and she deserved to be loved back. Laiqalassë couldn’t do that for her, but she seemed to want to be with him so much, why not live a lie for her?
Because he could not do that. It would end up making them both unhappy.
We lay in each others’ arms
But the room is just an empty space
I guess we've lived it out
Something in the air
We smiled too fast then can't think of a thing to say
They lay down among the many blankets and Asphodel curled up against Laiqalassë’s side. Laiqalassë wrapped his arms around her protectively. What was he going to do? He couldn’t keep this up, but she seemed so content.
Nearby, the campfire crackled and the wind blew through the trees, but Laiqalassë was silent as he contemplated the emptiness within his own heart.
Lived with the best times
Left with the worst
I've danced with you too long
Nothing left to save
As Asphodel slept peacefully in the circle of his arms Laiqalassë watched her breathe and wished he had never gotten involved with her, never had to hurt her. His thoughts deepened with the night around them, always revolving around the one in his arms.
What would it do to her? What about Marilla? What about himself? How would Laiqalassë react to the sudden change he was about to force on all their lives.
Let's take what we can
I know you hold your head up high
We've raced for the last time
A place of no return
Laiqalassë knew Asphodel would accept it and never question his true motives. She’d think it was because Améniel had talked him into it. She’d simply walk away, dignity intact.
She would never need to know he had used her.
He was filled with shame. He had used the Hobbit as a source of comfort to ease the lonliness of his millenia, but he had never loved her. And he never would.
Laiqalassë sighed. He knew Asphodel would probably take Marilla with her when she left. He would miss his daughter. She was a beautiful little girl and he hated the idea of not being there for her, but would not take her away from her mother. Not if he had anything to say about it.
And there is something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long
Something in the air
Something in my eye
Laiqalassë was so emersed in his thoughts, that he had not noticed that he had started crying.
Or that Asphodel had woken up.
Abracadoo, I loose you
We can't avoid the clash
The big mistake
Now we're gonna pay and pay
The sentence of our lives
“Laiqalassë, what’s wrong?” The soft voice broke through Laiqalassë’s reverie and he looked at Asphodel as if she were some strange creature.
“It’s nothing, go back to sleep.” Laiqalassë reassured her, wishing the words were true, “I’m going for a walk, but I’ll be right back.”
He extricated himself from the bedding and headed into the surrounding darkness. Asphodel watched as he went. It was obvious the Elf had come to some sort of decision, and she was pretty sure she wouldn’t like it.
Can't believe I'm asking you to go
We used what we could
To get the things we want
But we lost each other on the way
I guess you know I never wanted anyone more than you
Laiqalassë quickly found a large tree and climbed up to a large branch. He sat on the branch and wrapped his arms around his waist in an effort to comfort himself. It was a necessity. He had to do this, for both their sakes. He had to be strong, be wise, be an Elf.
He had to let Asphodel go.
Perhaps he had never loved her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t desire her, didn’t enjoy her company. This was going to hurt him more than he was willing to admit.
Lived all our best times
Left with the worst
I've danced with you to long
Say what you will
There's something in the air
More tears escaped down his cheeks and he barried his face in his hands. He didn’t want to deal with this pain. He had enough already.
Raced for the last time
Well I know you'll hold your head up high
But it's nothing we have to say
There's nothing in our eyes
Instead, he pushed down the hurt and covered it with anger. Anger he directed at Asphodel. This whole mess was her fault. If she hadn’t become so attached to him, he would never have been able to hurt her and the whole situation would have been avoided.
But there's something in the air
Something in my eye
I've danced with you too long
There's something I have to say
There's something in the air
Something in my eye
He stayed in the tree all night, feeding his anger. When Asphodel finally found him in the morning, he looked down and saw a creature he couldn’t stand to keep near him. A creature that had forced his hand so that he had to hurt it.
He nimbly jumped down from the tree and stood next to the Hobbit. The love and concern in her eyes as she looked up to meet his fed his anger to an intollerable level.
I've danced with you too long
Danced with you too long
Danced with you too long
Something in the air
Something in the air
“Asphodel, we need to talk.”