nowhere left to fall

I hate switching between antidepressants. The two weeks of dropping one and picking up the next are always hell. I'm not feeling as suicidal as I sometimes get, but I am feeling pretty fucking gross.

School is going okay, but I'm really starting to hate cake decorating class. It is so bloody redundant. Our first class, we spent all three hours making borders and simple designs with chocolate. Today's class, we spent 3 hours making borders and flowers with piping gel. Next week, we're working on chocolate again. I like the more creative bits - even got a complement from the teacher on one of the flowers I made - but can't stand the repetition of the borders. They drive me batty. And the fact that we spend three hours a week just doing the same thing over and over and over and over... aiya. I may not have true ADD, but I might as well in that class.

Thankfully, the class we had on Tuesday nights for 45 minutes after a 5 hour break has been moved to the break between two other classes of ours, so I'm quite happy about that. Well. As much as I ever let myself be happy.


Sometimes, I don't wonder that I enjoy my pain too much. Maybe that's why I'm never truly happy?