(no subject)

[gnutmeg]

Red mascara always looks like blood when you cry...


It tried to be a good day. It really did. But, in the end, it's not.



Am I allowed to quit? Just disappear from everything and not come back again? It'd be like a suicide, of sorts... since I gave up on the real kind years ago.

Comments

[drops-of-colour.livejournal.com]

You need to stop being depressed. You only get one shot at life. :\

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

I would that I could. I hate feeling like this. I wish it would go away and never come back.

[makotokino.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry your day was bad. please don't give up. I won't allow it. *hugglecling*

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

I'm not strong. I can't keep forcing myself like I have been. It's tearing me apart.

I really need a break from everything. Thank the gods camp is coming up.

[sixth-moon.livejournal.com]

Today should have been better than good. Here's hoping the upcoming days will be so in order to make up for the lack of 'good' in today.

Shit happens. We have no control.

And lots of <3 and hugs, and hope you're feeling much better, soon.

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

I haven't had a decent birthday in years. Though I have to admit this one was better than last year, well... that's not saying a lot.


Shit happens. We have no control.

I think you mean life happens...

[sixth-moon.livejournal.com]

Life = shit, same thing ya~

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

The part with you guys was fun, at least.

[narlyenatvanya.livejournal.com]

To your second question, I would say disappear if you must, but don't make it a not-coming-back-again thing. *hugs* Hope you feel better soon.

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

I'm just so confused and messed up right now. But, I guess that happens to everyone, sometimes.

[narlyenatvanya.livejournal.com]

Everyone has their off-days. <3 Hopefully, yours won't last very long.

[creepy_shetan]

Here, I uploaded a couple of pics for you. I noticed all the Sailor Moon icons, so... I don't know which characters you like or anything, so these 2 pics have everyone on them. And I mean *everyone*. I have no idea where I got them, but yeah...

I really need a photobucket account or something...
http://www.geocities.com/samjqct
Look for the pics with your name on them. I think they're near the bottom.
Oh, and if you want to look, I have a scan of my best Usagi sketch up there, too. It's old, and I messed it up in more than one place, but I still like how it turned out. That one's kinda in the middle of the list somewhere.

Looking on the brighter, more twisted side:
It's not technically today anymore.
There's something aesthetic and symbolic about blood red tears.
You have a whole year before this day comes again.
People you've never met care about you.
People who don't know you well want to know you better.
The sight of me trying to comfort someone is rather scary and funny at the same time.

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I used to have those before my computer crashed last Christmas and it's so hard to find Sailor Moon images now. (Most of my old favourite sites are long since dead.) It's the fandom that got me into Japanese culture, really. And I don't really have a favourite, all the senshi are special in their own way.

And it doesn't matter what day it is or who knows me or loves me, the problems are still here and not getting better. Sometimes, your hands are just tied and you've got to live with what's thrown at you.

[creepy_shetan]

A lot of the good SM sites have vanished. -_- It's really sad. I still remember senshi.net and its huge gallery... *sigh* I feel old now...

SM was the starting point for me, too. It got me into anime and manga, which led me to Japan in general. A couple of friends (and even my sisters) and I loved it to bits. I'm more partial to the outer senshi myself. They're more mysterious and mature. =p Mamoru and Setsuna are my favs, and I love the cat family. ^^ I still have around 200 pics on my computer -- if you'd like more, just ask.

All I can say is find distractions. They may not work all the time, but forgetting problems at least sometimes is better than nothing.

[nekochancutecat.livejournal.com]

*snatches you up, plops you in bed, and snuggles* <333

Don't worry. It'll get better, nutmeg. Just keep on trying and being strong. It's hard sometimes, but I know that you have the strength to carry on.

[cube-.livejournal.com]

"Just keep on trying and being strong...the strength to carry on."
This reminded me horrifically of some Celine Dion song.

...

Sorry. Will bash self up later. <3 for lirimaer, and happy(?) belated birthday.

[nekochancutecat.livejournal.com]

*chases Cube around nutmeg's LJ with a Celine Dion plushie*

>D

[cube-.livejournal.com]

*YELLS*

Is it just me, or do you derive a strange fetish from tormenting and harassing innocent fellow lj users?

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

Abuse your own friends list, not mine. XP

[tmcado.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you had a bad day sweetie, you don't deserve it.

Mind if I add you to my friend list? You seem like a wonderful person to me ^_^

BTW, I sent you a bunch of online hugs through that link in your profile... I was feeling dorky, and thought you needed more hugs. Everyone needs hugs.

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

It's not so much that I had a bad day as that I have a bad life.

And yeah, it's fine. I'll add you in return.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_amaya_/]

I'm sorry that it went so badly. Maybe the days coming after it will be better? *hugs* <3 <3 <3

[kokoro.livejournal.com]

You sound like me today.

<3

[mihogoeth.livejournal.com]

Hey maybe you will feel better on sat when you meet me, I dunno. lol, anyhoo I can't wait. *Hugs*

[kagome-angel.livejournal.com]

Aww! *Hugs* I'm so sorry. I really am, Nutmeg.

Listen. Don't give up. I've felt like this before. I've tried to kill myself before. Several times. But then, I eventually realize that there are people that love me out there. And what would they do if I left? Yes, I feel worthless sometimes. Yes, I feel stupid. Yes, I want to grab the razor and just start cutting, but I don't. There are some things in life that are worth fighting for and holding on to.

Nutmeg, a lot of people love you whether you realize it or not. Don't go anywhere.

We care. *Hugs*

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

It's been almost 4 years since I last cut myself. I don't intend to start again.

I just need to escape from my life and my self-imposed stresses for a while.