wasting time and caffeine for him out there

[gnutmeg]

It's been a while since my last update, so I suppose I owe you all a super-long-update-of-doom™ Yes.

Went to see the psychiatrist on friday before camp, and was confronted by three of my worst fears all at once. The doctor I saw had been in a car-accident and was pretty badly scarred on his face and one arm, as well as having a prostetic arm and his real hand having all the fingers welded together. Dismemberment/disfigurement has always been a huge fear of mine, though I usually manage to swallow it as best I can and treat people who've experienced it like everyone else. However, when confronted with it while in a hospital seeing a doctor (both being HUGE fears of mine) left me fighting myself not to cry the entire time.

Camp went well. The girls all had a lot of fun, even though the heat was disgusting (it went up to about 40ish C/105ish F after humidity) and there were a lot of mosquitos. One highlight of the trip was the water fight with the other leaders in the kitchen. ^^


Uh, lots of work as always. I'm making fewer dumb mistakes while there. :P Bought myself a Polyphonic Spree CD when I got off yesterday. It also came with a free CD attached, so that made me muy happy.

And, y'know, maybe my doctor's right. Maybe I am somewhat stressed. I just realized the 9 things I have to do today.

Oh! And I've now got a permanent account. Yay. :D I've wanted one for a very long time. But now I need to pick 100 icons. >.> This could take some effort.


Ok. Maybe that wasn't as long as it could have been, but I've forgotten what else I wanted to say. Probably wasn't that important. Umn. But I will do a picture post for everyone who's been whining at me for one as soon as I decide I'm not ugly. Yes. Give it a couple days, that opinion changes with my mood.

Which reminds me of one of the things I wanted to say! On my last day of camp, I stayed up for the open house for the campgrounds to help give people tours and the first thing Coco asked me when I ran into her was if I'd lost any weight. I admitted I'd lost a bit because I'd been sick, but it wasn't much. Flicker was nearby and agreed with her that I looked really good like I'd lost some weight. That made me smile. I was also talking with some other guide leaders in my area the other day and they did not believe I weighed what I did. They both guessed my weight at 20lbs lighter than I am. o.o; Crazy, huh? My body is soooo fucked up.

Comments

[mihogoeth.livejournal.com]

*huggles* Well I am glad that you had alot of fun ^^ A water fight does sound like alot of fun, especially in a kitchen ^^
Your not ugly *huggle*
I need to gain weight ><

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

If only we could just take off some of my weight and give it to you, huh? :P

And it doesn't matter if I'm actually ugly or not. I feel like it right now.

[mihogoeth.livejournal.com]

Ha ha, yes, that would be nice.
Ahh ok, I feel that way alot ><

[jackichen007.livejournal.com]

ooh ^^ i would look forward to a picture post!

i'm sorry about the scary doctor visit ;(

but i'm glad you had fun at camp! =D

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

*adds you to the list of people asking me for one*

I lived... I always do, no matter how horrid they are.

And camp is like... one of my most favourite things in the entire world. I get to go out and just be a big kid. It's great.

[jackichen007.livejournal.com]

crap! i posted too much in the community, jcrack. i meant to only put a request for FAKE?'s everglow, instead of the whole album -_-;;

sorry about that~

::hopefully i won't be banned? =( ::

hehe camp! did you get to make friendship bracelets? (sorry random question! that was one of my favorite memories of camp, sadly enough -_-;;)

[jinjja.livejournal.com]

That is way too hot. Ew. Humid is even worse >.< I'd rather it was dry heat. It sounds like you had a good time though, I'm glad.

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

It was pretty gross, but I really don't mind that type of weather as long as I keep properly hydrated.

[peachpenguin.livejournal.com]

yay for upcoming picture post.

i sort of know what you mean- people nearly always guess that i weigh about 30-40 lbs less than really am. it is strange...

[lirimaer.livejournal.com]

It makes me wonder where the weight is hiding, since it's not exactly like I've got lots of muscles or anything like that.

[peachpenguin.livejournal.com]

yes... 'tis very curious....

[zeli17.livejournal.com]

:) Good job on facing your fears.... Disfiguration is a phobia of mine, too... And I know it's completely irrational, but I find it hard treating disfigured people like normal people and I end up staring and then not staring. u.u


Yea, I weigh more than I look, too. It sucks. >.>

Glad you enjoyed camp..... This heat is horrid. >