moving on

I've known for a while now, but it's finally sunk in now. I'm not going to be terribly around between Wednesday and August 10. Like maybe you'll get 2 or 3 days a week out of me. Maybe.


Gods, where did all the time go?


This is probably going to be my most expensive week in Bath, due to moving out stuffs. I'm using up what little food I've left in the house, and will have to start eating out soon.


And. Yeah. It's so over now.

yes, avoiding work

*sigh* I'm horrid.

campwoolsey

(no subject)

How is it only 1pm? I feel like I've been up and about and doing enough to fill at least 3 hours more than that.


I'm just buzzing with nervous energy right now. I'm twitchy, I'm nauseous, yeah that shows I'm stressed. On my second tea of the day. (Though, to be fair, I only started with the tea around 11ish when I noticed the shaking.)


I'm sitting here shredding documents (with scissors, I don't have a paper shredder here) and enjoying how calming it is.


I need to call/email all my utilities to close off the accounts. (I supposed I'd best call, but I HATE talking on the phone.) I really don't think I can handle that right now. I'll probably cry.




...I think I need a hug.

::: Oaken :::

I feel ancient tonight
deep and solid
like tree roots
that have spread for centuries

it's painful
and it makes me ill
but it's revitalizing
like drawing nutrients

from the earth
I'm gathering dark strength
I sink down
but it only makes me taller

the part you can't see
where it aches and twists
I cry loudly
because it's so strong

the dirt fills my blood
makes me
I'm spreading beyond you
it hurts, but I grow

::: Push :::

mortared with blood
I built this tower
stone by mossy stone
always reaching up
I looked to gain heaven
but it's just further to fall

disparagement grows, too
when sewn in fertile soil
it grows like these rocks
trying to eat the sky
can you get higher?
waiting to push me off

::: Travelling :::

I'm a high-speed honey
with a whole lot of funny ideas
in my head
like

just another globe trotter
enjoying the glowing cities
just some tiny little dots
from the window
of this air plane

and here I am leaving
another city
you've only read of

don't be jealous of my luck
I'm only running on adrenaline and advil
not logic
and little money
now here comes another adventure

my shoes are dirty
my bones are weary
for once I'd like to hear my own accent
not on my mobile
though it lights up like a runway whenever you call

so give me
give me a ring so I can see you shine

I'll tell you about the ocean in my shoe
or the joys of getting lost in place where no one even knows
your name

sandwiches in six languages
and a pint in every celtic nation
this i the map of where I've been
or who I am
it's hard to say

as I put another sunset to my shoulders

::: Streaming :::

horizontally surrendered to the calendar
paper Xs keep wandering by
it's almost too late now
so little left

that's all it is

reaching the end of something good
what's coming next?
time is a frightening game
and it's rules keep changing

can I change fast enough to keep up?

am I the rock
or the river that dances around it?
is that where these daily pages fall?
devoured by soggy hunger